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5 reasons not to manage like a passive-aggressive

August 29, 2013 by Terrina Rishel — CEO, ATM Authority, LLC

One common complaint about corporate culture involves leaders who demonstrate passive-aggressive behavior — commonly defined as resistance indirectly exhibited in behaviors such as procrastination, forgetfulness, and purposeful inefficiency, especially in reaction to demands by authority figures.

Recognizing these traits in a colleague or manager is easy. However, understanding the results of this leadership style can be much harder; especially for those practicing it.

Here are five reasons why as a manager, you should correct a passive aggressive leadership style:

1. Being passive-aggressive is actually a weakness. Don't confuse the art of negotiation with successfully avoiding conflict and confrontation. Lacking the skills to negotiate, compromise or communicate a negative message can result in leaders fooling themselves into thinking that avoidance is an effective strategy.

This type of response is often subconscious, a learned behavior from many years of navigating situations in which it was not safe to reveal true feelings.

We've all met people who change the subject or deflect negative comments. However, to be a successful leader you must learn to address difficult situations head-on, honestly and strategically, so important issues are not avoided; they are resolved.

2. Using procrastination as a tool creates frustration. Being led by a person who procrastinates is a recipe for frustration for subordinates.

If you use this strategy too often, you will ultimately be labeled as an ineffective leader who is unable to make decisions and manage workload.

People who work for a leader who procrastinates will exhibit the same behavior — resulting in a culture that lacks respect for timelines and priorities.

3. Sending mixed messages results in mistrust and confusion. Worrying about rockinf-the-boat or upsetting people is not a good reason to send mixed messages.

For instance, communicating to an individual that their ideas are great, but then setting a totally different agenda in a meeting results in mistrust, confusion and anger.

Leaders must carefully hone their messages in a consistent, strategic way; otherwise confusion is inevitable. And it's difficult to lead without trust! 

4. Avoidance is a fast track to disrespect. To be an effective leader, you must earn the respect of those you lead.

Do you make up little white lies to avoid a difficult critique? Do you use email or voice mail "malfunctions" as an excuse to avoid dealing with a difficult situation? Or worse; do you blame your assistant? Do you make excuses that you have so much on your desk that you haven't seen the request yet?

When making excuses becomes a way to avoid a difficult discussion, you will eventually lose the respect you need to be effective. Using avoidance as a coping mechanism results only in disrespect and failure.

5. Poor leadership style erodes reputation. It's the end stage of a leader who adopts a passive-aggressive communication style.

This result seems obvious. How do you naturally feel about someone who doesn't exert the energy or interest to be honest with you? How does it make you feel to find out that you can't rely on what someone says? How hard is it to respect someone who makes excuses and avoids conversations?

The eventual manifestation of passive-aggressive behavior is a reputation for ineptitude and untrustworthiness. Most people who have endured this type of leadership are painfully aware that their leader does not care enough about them to be honest and forthcoming.

We've all heard that good, effective communication is the cornerstone of a solid, successful leaderhsip. However, sometimes this statement is not specific enough to promote a focus on the results of a particular style.

Leaders need to evaluate their style in such a way that it sheds light not only on the immediate results of that style, but the long term effects as well.

To avoid these five pitfalls, educate yourself about how you can mindfully, carefully and specifically deal with the fear of conflict and confrontation — the underlying drivers of passive aggressive behavior.

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About Terrina Rishel

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