Criminal masterminds, they're not
This week, the San Diego Tribune reported on the sentencing of Alvin Lee Neal, who will spend up to three years and 10 months in prison for robbing a downtown San Diego branch of Wells Fargo.
Police were able to track Neal using details of the ATM card he swiped at the teller window before advising the teller (without the slightest whiff of irony), "You're being robbed. Don't make a mistake."
On the other side of the country, Boston-area television station Fox 25 reported two men crashed a Honda CRV into a 24-hour Sunoco gas station at 3 a.m. last Saturday, intending to cart off the ATM.
While the store clerk dialed 911, the two men attempted to haul the ATM out of the store with a chain attached to the CRV, but only managed to rip the door off the machine.
The robbers then fled — apparently even more empty-handed than when they arrived: outside the store, police found a cell phone and a check stub they think one of the men left behind.