News

News of the weird: Unlucky in ATM crime

Because our annual wrap-up of weird ATM-related stories has proven so popular, we've decided to make it a regular feature. Here's the first installment of 2004.

March 8, 2004

For the past few years, ATMmarketplace has published a "year in review" feature that looks back at some of the major stories of the year. It's been popular with our readers, usually prompting e-mails from many of you who want to add your two cents (or in some cases, as much as $1.50) about the annual round-up.

In sifting through our archives to pull stories for this feature, I always find myself oddly drawn to revisit many of the "weird crime" stories.

Ann All

You know the ones I'm talking about: the snow plow driver who thought he could slip away unnoticed after taking out an ATM in his eight-ton vehicle; the two skinny would-be thieves who were just too weak to lug an ATM out of a hospital lobby; the early morning anthrax scare triggered by powdered sugar on an ATM keypad (from a doughnut, speculated a cop called to the scene); the guy whose disgusted girlfriend turned him in after he urinated all over an ATM, causing thousands of dollars of damage.

I always felt like a bit of a weirdo myself, for enjoying them as much as I did -- and a little guilty for chortling at stories where ATMs were damaged or folks suffered losses of money, not to mention pride.

But that was before many of you confessed that you shared my amusement and often forwarded the items on to your friends. Some alert readers even began sending in stories I'd missed.

Because the "weird" stories have proven so popular, we've decided to start presenting them on a more regular basis -- perhaps quarterly -- rather than saving them for the end of the year. (By presenting so many at once, we may be running a real risk of causing someone to bust a gut.)

The first installment of 2004 includes a collection of some very unlucky criminals:

You've got to give aspiring ATM thief Shawn Myers and his brother points for persistence -- if not for brains.

According to a report in the York (Pa.) Dispatch, at a Jan. 14 sentencing hearing Myers related how he and his brother backed a pickup truck through a plate glass window at Lynn's Market in Wellsville and tried to hitch an ATM to the truck in May of 2001. They failed.

Myers told the York County Court of Common Pleas judge that the brothers went back to the store a few days later and backed a truck through the plywood covering the broken window, trying again to take the ATM. Again, they failed.

A few days after that, they backed up to a Rutter's Farm Store, shattered a window with a hammer and -- surprise -- succeeded in hitching an ATM to their truck. They drove down the street, dragging the ATM behind them.

The ATM skidded and hit a parked car, prompting the panicky brothers to leave it there.

Several months later, the brothers returned to Lynn's Market, drove through a plate-glass window, successfully hitched the ATM to the truck and drove off, the machine suspended in the air behind them. (At least they had learned something from their previous efforts.)

But when they opened the ATM, Myers said, they found no money.

Myers told the judge that he and his brother resorted to ATM theft because he needed cash to pay court costs associated with previous cases. He pleaded guilty to six counts of burglary, five counts of theft, four counts of criminal mischief, five counts of criminal trespass and several counts of attempt to and conspiracy to commit those crimes.

The 23-year-old will serve three to six years in state prison; he must also pay restitution, which could total thousands of dollars.

In addition to the ATM capers, Myers pleaded guilty to several counts relating to the theft of a number of cars and trucks, some of them stolen to use in ramming an ATM to knock it over -- and failing.

Ever resourceful, he also admitted to running a chop shop, altering vehicle identification numbers and stealing some items from his landlord.

It took more than 90 minutes for the judge to go through all of the charges against Myers, accept his guilty pleas and sentence him, according to the York Dispatch report.

This one has a happy ending: Also in January, quick-thinking Jeffery Kruetzkamp foiled a would-be robber's attempt to take his cash at a Cincinnati, Ohio, drive-up ATM.

According to a report on WCPO, a man approached 40-year-old Kruetzkamp as he was making a withdrawal at a Provident Bank branch, pointed a semi-automatic handgun at him and demanded the cash.

Kruetzkamp told the man he hadn't gotten the cash yet and advised the would-be thief to push the "OK" button for a payout.

Kruetzkamp then drove away as the distracted -- and not too bright -- man pushed the button.

20s blowing in from the East: Some Crestwood, Ill. residents got an unexpected windfall when $1,000 in cash blew out of a faulty ATM drawer and into the hands of greedy motorists who jumped out of their cars when they saw the floating bills.

According to reports in both the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun Times, a serviceman from United Armored Services was removing a cash cassette from an ATM at a First Midwest Bank branch at 9:30 a.m. when the mishap occurred.

Theoretically, the people who took the cash can be charged with theft, but Crestwood Police Chief Thomas Scully said he could "not foresee" any arrests.

"It's a little disappointing to see people grabbing the money and not returning," he said. "But I guess that's society today."

The gusting winds, at one point 55 to 58 mph, also knocked out power to homes and forced the closing of downtown streets because of flying debris near construction sites.

Wrong end of a soaking: A would-be ATM thief in Omaha, Neb., made a real splash -- but probably not the kind he or she had intended. Police responding to a fire alarm at the Omaha Civic Center on March 3 found the remains of what appeared to be a botched ATM robbery.

According to an Associated Press report, someone apparently tried to use a forklift to break open the machine and hit a sprinkler line in the ceiling instead.

When police and firefighters responded to the alarm about 4:30 a.m., they found water filling the entry floor and streaming down ramps into the basement. They also found the ATM hanging from a forklift just inside the main entrance.

Parks Director Larry Foster estimated repair costs at $5,000 to $7,000. Police said it appeared the thief had failed to get any money out of the ATM.

Try traffic school: A couple of would-be thieves' hopes came crashing down -- literally -- when their "smash and grab" attempt in the Los Angeles suburbs went wrong.

According to an NBC4 report, two men backed a stolen pickup into a building at about 3:40 a.m. But Sgt. Scott Bickle of the Glendale Police Department said the robbery attempt was aborted when the truck accidentally ran over the ATM.

The men fled in the truck and left it in an alley a mile away. The truck had been reported stolen in Burbank.