News

'Kid, I'm gonna make you a star!'

April 6, 2012

You know you're a big deal when you're not just a character in the movie — you're the title of it. Think "Malcolm X," "Erin Brockovich," "Bambi," "Phone Booth."

Now the automatic teller machine takes a turn under the Klieg lights in "ATM." It's a thriller (so they say) about a nice guy, a pretty girl, a jerk, a murderer and a vestibule. In the dead of a Canadian winter (cue howling wind), peril ensues.

Also, ridiculous plot elements: a garden hose that works when it's -5 degrees outside; three young adults going an yplace without a cell phone; same three young adults parking 50 yards away from a cash machine in an empty parking lot — when it's -5 degrees. And did I mention the howling wind?

By all reports, "ATM" is bound for a quick exit from theaters directly into the half-price DVD bin at Walgreen's. Its initial release was in Italy last month, which tells you the film is so embarrassingly bad, the studio wouldn't give it a proper red carpet rollout in the States.

So what does the fashionably dressed lobby ATM wear to the Razzies these days?