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Coming this fall: The newest ATM (that's not)

What is it about the injection of any word into the phrase 'The [blank] ATM' that gets the mainstream media so stoked?

April 8, 2016

We've all seen the headlines about the "cupcake ATM" (not) and the "pizza ATM" (also not).

But those are so 2012; America, it seems, is overdue for its next ATM misnomer.

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Consumer media outlets recently have been touting Hasbro's expected release this fall of its newest edition of the venerable Monopoly board game, called "Monopoly Ultimate Banking."

Publications ranging from the Chicago Tribune to Gizmodo to Good Housekeeping have gushed over the game's newly added novelty item:

(Wait for it ... )

"The Monopoly ATM!"

(Still not.)

Per Good Housekeeping:

Goodbye, Monopoly money. A new version of the popular board game has completely nixed the paper cash in favor of a miniature ATM and debit cards. Monopoly Ultimate Banking, which will hit shelves in the fall, has created a cash-free world for today's modern era.

Per the toy company's description:

Players own it all with ultimate bank cards that track wealth and rising property values. Make instant transactions and speed up play by tapping the card on the ultimate banking unit [emphasis ours] after purchasing properties or charging players visitor rent fees.

Cashless? Rent-accepting? Doesn't that sound more like a POS device or a smartphone app (or a Visa ad campaign) than an ATM?

The media mislabeling is understandable, though: "Ultimate banking unit" sizzles with about as much sex appeal as "cupcake vending machine." And both make for terrible headlines.