It could've been an episode of the The Three Stooges, except that it really did happen. Also, there wasn't an eye-poke.
According to a report this week by a CBS network affiliate in Miami, three crooks drove up to the Discount Supermarket in a sedan on Thursday night. Two got out and tried to force the security gate.
When that didn't work the three left. Ten minutes later, they returned with a heavy chain, which they attached to the car and the gate. The driver then gunned the sedan, ripping the gate off the building.
Next, the crooks wrapped the chain around the ATM in the supermarket. Again, the driver of the sedan gunned the engine, but this time the car went careening off and the ATM stayed put. A second try had the same result.
By this time, the noise had brought an irate man onto the balcony of a neighboring building. He began to yell and throw bottles at the crooks, who jumped into the sedan and sped away.
A detective told CBS that the crooks hit at least one other merchant ATM that night, and possibly six or seven more. They never did manage to steal an ATM.
When the police find these three maybe they should knock their heads together.