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The organizers of the ATM Industry Association Conference 2000 sure aren't big on hype. That occurred to me as I entered what was billed, rather generically, as a �Swamp Party.� With my highly developed sense of hype, I would have called it something like �The Romp in the Swamp.� After a long day of attending presentations, exchanging business cards and sucking down cup after cup of coffee, I was ready for some fun. I was sure other attendees felt the same way. Enter the Swamp (actually poolside at the Adam's Mark Hotel), complete with a panther named Cinnamon, a lavish buffet, an open bar and a crowd of ATM industry professionals. Despite its less-than-catchy name, the party was a success. So was the rest of the conference. Following is a list of random observations from the two-day event: Best food: The ultra-rich chocolate cake on the buffet line at the Swamp Party. Best photo opp: Also at the Swamp Party, attendees could pose with either Cinnamon, a Florida panther, or a three-foot-long alligator. Plenty of attendees left with snaps to show the folks at home. Coolest business card: The Trace R&D Center, part of the College of Engineering at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. The center has developed a technology to make ATMs more accessible to those with impairments. While the front of the business card is much like any other, the back is printed in Braille. Most overused phrase: Toss-up between ROI (return on investment, for those living under a rock), and �e� anything (as in e-commerce, e- shopping, e-tailers). Best booth gimmick: The overgrown mouse at the Bantek booth. The mouse looked enough like its famous counterpart that I kept expecting a visit from the Disney police, armed with affidavits. Most fascinating bio: Neal Schwartz, NCR's vice president of ATM solutions for retail locations, was a house painter at one time in his life. Runners-up: Triton Systems Chairman and CEO Ernest Burdette has not one, but two, graduate degrees in physics. Jason Kuhn of Cleveland's WRG Services is a member of a heavy-metal band called Brick. Biggest understatement: Al Metzler, vice president of ATM business support for Bank One, commenting on the explosion of business that occurred just after widespread implementation of the surcharge in 1996: �Most ATM salesmen had smiles on their faces at this time.� Best anecdote involving a former senator from New York: Mike Stevenson of WRG Services once attended a hearing featuring former New York Sen. Alfonse D'Amato. When D'Amato asked Stevenson why he should have to pay for access to his own money, Stevenson replied, �With all due respect, Senator, it's my money.� Surcharge foes like D'Amato seem to forget that it costs ATM owners money to keep a machine filled with cash. Technology to watch: Full-motion video toppers. They're a less expensive way for ATM owners to bring the technology to their machines. And many in the industry seem to think advertisers want full-motion video. Both Triton Systems and Cross International Technologies displayed toppers in their booths. Funniest unplanned moment: During Neal Schwartz's presentation, �An International Look at ATM Deployments,� he showed a slide that illustrated several no-nos of retail deployment. The machine was too big, too expensive and inconveniently located outside, Schwartz said. �Now I don't know where this machine is located...� He was interrupted by Jeff Hewitt, a fellow NCR VP sitting in the crowd. �St. Louis. I sold it.� Most annoying distraction: The rarely-silent cell phones. In the exhibit hall, during presentations and at meetings, the ringing never let up for long. A suggestion for next year: a sign posted outside the presentation venue reading �Kindly turn off your phones.� In many cases, an attendee would answer and rush grim-faced out of the hall. I could only imagine the conversation on the other end: �We're out of cash/paper/time! What should I do?� Most interesting overheard theory, for what it's worth: Is it possible that the buzz about warehoused hardware and broken promises surrounding a certain East Coast ISO is largely due to jealousy? For those who didn't get to attend the conference, the ATMIA is selling notebooks and audiotapes of the presentations. The cost of a notebook is $75. The cost of a tape is to be determined. For more information: email shelley@atmia.com or fax 502-241-7412, attn. Shelley Kinslow.