You've got to give aspiring ATM thief Shawn Myers and his brother points for persistence--if not for brains.

According to a report in the York (Pa.) Dispatch, at a Jan. 14 sentencing hearing Myers related how he and his brother backed a pickup truck through a plate glass window at Lynn's Market in Wellsville and tried to hitch an ATM to the truck in May of 2001. They failed.

Myers told the York County Court of Common Pleas judge that the brothers went back to the store a few days later and backed a truck through the plywood covering the broken window, trying again to take the ATM. Again, they failed.

A few days after that, they backed up to a Rutter's Farm Store, shattered a window with a hammer and--surprise--succeeded in hitching an ATM to their truck. They drove down the street, dragging the ATM behind them.

The ATM skidded and hit a parked car, prompting the panicky brothers to leave it there.

Several months later, the brothers returned to Lynn's Market, drove through a plate-glass window, successfully hitched the ATM to the truck and drove off, the machine suspended in the air behind them. (At least they had learned something from their previous efforts.)

But when they opened the ATM, Myers said, they found no money.

Myers told the judge that he and his brother resorted to ATM theft because he needed cash to pay court costs associated with previous cases.

This one has a happy ending

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Also in January, quick-thinking Jeffery Kruetzkamp foiled a would-be robber's attempt to take his cash at a Cincinnati, Ohio, drive-up ATM.

According to a report on WCPO, a man approached 40-year-old Kruetzkamp as he was making a withdrawal at a Provident Bank branch, pointed a semi-automatic handgun at him and demanded the cash.

Kruetzkamp told the man he hadn't gotten the cash yet and advised the would-be thief to push the "OK" button for a payout.

Kruetzkamp then drove away as the distracted--and not too bright--man pushed the button.

Twenties blowing in from the east

Some Crestwood, Ill. residents got an unexpected windfall when $1,000 in cash blew out of a faulty ATM drawer and into the hands of greedy motorists who jumped out of their cars when they saw the floating bills.

According to new reports, a serviceman from United Armored Services was removing a cash cassette from an ATM at a First Midwest Bank branch at 9:30 a.m. when the mishap occurred.

Theoretically, the people who took the cash can be charged with theft, but Crestwood Police Chief Thomas Scully said he could "not foresee" any arrests.

"It's a little disappointing to see people grabbing the money and not returning," he said. "But I guess that's society today."

The gusting winds, at one point 55 to 58 mph, also knocked out power to homes and forced the closing of downtown streets because of flying debris near construction sites.

Wrong end of a soaking

A would-be ATM thief in Omaha, Neb., made a real splash--but probably not the kind he or she had intended. Police responding to a fire alarm at the Omaha Civic Center on March 3 found the remains of what appeared to be a botched ATM robbery.

According to an Associated Press report, someone apparently tried to use a forklift to break open the machine and hit a sprinkler line in the ceiling instead.

When police and firefighters responded to the alarm about 4:30 a.m., they found water filling the entry floor and streaming down ramps into the basement. They also found the ATM hanging from a forklift just inside the main entrance.

Parks Director Larry Foster estimated repair costs at $5,000 to $7,000. Police said it appeared the thief had failed to get any money out of the ATM.

Try traffic school

A couple of would-be thieves' hopes came crashing down--literally--when their "smash and grab" attempt in the Los Angeles suburbs went wrong.

According to a televised report, two men backed a stolen pickup into a building at about 3:40 a.m. But Sgt. Scott Bickle of the Glendale Police Department said the robbery attempt was aborted when the truck accidentally ran over the ATM.

The men fled in the truck and left it in an alley a mile away. The truck had been reported stolen in Burbank.